Who the Hell Do I Think I Am?

IMAO: Who the Hell Do You Think You Bloggers Are?

From the ever-popular (or ever infamous) IMAO comes this lovely quiz. My answers are below.

THE ‘WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?’ BLOGGER QUIZ

1. Who the hell do you think you are?
I think, therefore I am, Keithius Michaelius Survellus.

2. So, other than blogging, what’s your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
My Job? How nice of you to ask. Director of Software Development, Chief Information Officer, Director of IT Services, and Clerk of the Board of Directors of a privately-held corporation, thank-you-very-much.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
I cannot tell a lie: no, I do not. STFU, N00B!

4. Do you even read newspapers?
From time to time, but the low-quality paper & small fonts hurt my eyes.

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
FOX News pales in comparison to my own propaganda machine, mwa ha ha ha!

6. I bet you’re some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
You’re so perceptive! Yes, I do listen to talk radio. I also host a talk radio show from time to time, on that crazy “intarweb” thingie.

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
I am fairly certain the GOP does not have my fax number. And if they do, I know who gave it to them. *glares*

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
Because people who disagree with me are WRONG.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
I actually own a passport. And if you try to stick an RFID chip in it, I’ll probably shoot you.

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
Not just another country, but two or three different ones. On separate continents and opposite hemispheres, too!

11. If you’re so keen on the war, why haven’t you signed up, chickenhawk?
I’m not exactly “keen” on the war, actually. But living in Fitchburg, MA is close enough to being in a war zone, thank you very much.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face?
Have you?

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
You disgust me. Sicko.

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
See Question 1. And watch your mouth son, I work with LAWYERS.

By Keith Survell

Geek, professional programmer, amateur photographer, crazy rabbit guy, only slightly obsessed with cute things.