I had a dream… and it went something like this:
-Gus
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I Had A Dream…
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We Are Grounded
Dad has grounded us – or put us in “lockdown” as he calls it – for misbehaving.
I don’t know what he’s talking about. We didn’t do anything bad.
…Except for rip up the carpet a bit.
…And get on the couch and scratch it.
…And get under the side table and scratch that.
…And worm our way behind the couch where we’re not allowed (and haven’t been for years).
…And chomp on the power cord to a lamp.
…And continue chomping on the power cord to a lamp, after being told off by mummy, while she is still standing there watching me.
But other than that, we’ve been perfect little angel bunnies!
It’s so unfair.
-Betsy
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Bunny Clock
Mum and dad got a new clock with a bunny on it.
We disapprove of this. After all, it should have a picture of US on it, not some strange bunny we don’t know.
Also: a clock should only have a few markings on it: treat time, breakfast time, and dinner time. This clock doesn’t have any of those. Therefore, it sucks.
-Betsy
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TRYING to Sleep
It seems like whenever I try to sleep, dad comes around and starts taking pictures.
So I like to get back at him by sleeping in a way where he’s not sure if I’m awake, asleep, or even if I’m alive!
We refer to these as “dead bunny flops,” because the first time we did one (it was Betsy who first did it) dad got scared and thought we were dead!
Of course, now dad is used to them so he takes pictures of us anyway. I guess we’ll just have to try something new, like sleeping with one eye open and creeping him out.
We’ll let you know how that works out.
-Gus
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Mum and Dad are Back
Mum and dad are back. But we can’t let them know that we missed them at all. Instead, we must act as disinterested in their return as possible.
Fortunately, we rabbits excel at this:
“Oh. You’re back. We didn’t notice.”
-Gus
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I Miss my Mummy
I miss my mummy.
Gus says she’ll be home soon. I’ll be glad. (But mum – you’re never putting silly costumes on me again. EVER. At least, not if you want your shoes to remain unharmed… understand?)
-Betsy
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The Buns of Christmas Present
Once again, mum and dad made us play “dress up” for their Christmas cards this year.
And once again… we strongly disapprove.
-Gus
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Upset Tummy
I had an upset tummy yesterday. It was really uncomfortable.
I just wanted to lie down in my litter box, but the HUMAN looking after me (while mum & dad are away, of course) kept fussing over me. I even had to sit here and listen to her on the phone with mum and dad, telling them that I was not acting right. Well, duh, I had an upset tummy – what do you think I’d be doing?
I guess maybe they were worried because I didn’t want anything to eat – not even a cranberry or cracker – and that I wasn’t moving around much.
They were also worried because it was the weekend and the vet was closed and to top things off, there was a snowstorm outside (something like 18″ of snow I think). But of course, that was my plan all along – to test our temporary bunny slave.
But, actually she did all right. She came over and rubbed my tummy and that actually kind of helped because after that I felt like I could do some poops and then later on I felt like having a bite to eat again. So, I guess she did all right.
Still, it was nice to give mum & dad a little something to worry about while they were away – can’t let them have a good time without me, after all!
-Gus
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The Buns of Christmas Past, Part 2
After those first joyful Christmases, filled with treats, phone books, and wrapping paper to chew and shred, mum and dad somehow got it into their heads that they should send out Christmas cards… with pictures of us on the front.
Suffice to say, we do not approve of this.
-Gus
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The Buns of Christmas Past, Part 1
Well, it’s starting to get on towards that time of year. So I thought I’d go back and remember some bunny Christmases from years past.
I can still remember my first Christmas – I got lots of good presents back then.
Of course, I got to be the first one to sniff the presents (and chin them, so that they were all MINE!).
Oh yeah, and Betsy was there too – so it was the first Christmas for us both!
As you can expect, there were treats galore.
Though I had mastered the art of disapproval even then. Plus, I’d rather have what dad has… that looks like fun to chew on! (He never gave it to me to chew on.)
But the wrapping paper was kind of a present in itself, so it was OK.
Did I mention there were treats?
Yeah, that was a good Christmas.
-Gus
