The Life and Times of Bunnies

There is nothing for you to see here dad; I’m not up to anything. Just go back to your computer and look the other way.

Ummmm…. I’m just… looking!

See? Nothing to see here; it’s just Gus sitting around, nothing unusual about that. (Pay no attention to the bunny behind the curtain!)

Say what now? That’s not me – it must be your camera not working again. You should look into that. Because it clearly wasn’t me.

Nope, I was sitting here all along.

You just… missed seeing me hop over here from the left, that’s all dad. Yep, I’ve been here the whole time, not being up to anything no-good at all.

I’ll just… be going over here now. And there’s no need for you to look behind that curtain to see if I was there, because, as I said, I wasn’t there. Trust me.

-Betsy

I think dad’s camera is broken – it’s taking ghost pictures!

His next picture was much better, a true representation of where I had been the whole time.

See dad? I’m right here, not behind the door. Nope. Not behind the door. Just here, sitting, watching you pretend to work (while secretly taking pictures of me).

Despite this, dad asked me “what were you doing behind there?”

I said “I wasn’t doing anything.”

Since dad’s eyes were clearly playing tricks on him (maybe he’s working too hard?) I said “see you later, dad” and hopped off.

I think dad needs to get his eyes checked out. Because I was clearly, definitely, certainly not up to anything behind the door there.

-Gus

Why, no dad, we weren’t up to anything. Trust me!

Why do you ask?

-Betsy

So the other day, mum wanted a cuddle with us. So she made dad pick us up and then she snuggled us. (One at a time, of course – we are too much bun for any one person to handle all at once!)

Gus is no good with the snuggling – if you pat his nose just right, he starts to go all dreamy and relaxed.

Gus, THAT WILL NOT DO.

When I get snuggled I try to bury my head in mummy’s neck. Using my claws also helps too; I always try to keep them nice & sharp so nobody even thinks of picking me up! I also make sure that I shed as much as I can, to really aggravate mummy’s allergies and asthma. That way, she’ll put me down quicker.

But this time, nothing worked – dad grabbed me (after a short chase around the house) and mum snuggled me for a good long time, all the while petting my nose and stroking my ears. While this may be fine for her, I DON’T LIKE IT.

So, in retaliation, the next day I got up on the couch and chewed a hole in one of the pillows.

But I cleverly did it while mum & dad were out, so they couldn’t punish me for it! I win!

That should teach them not to pick me up!

-Betsy

Dear Auntie Leisa:

I miss you.Mum doesn’t give me as many treats as you. That makes me sad. And mad. So I have been acting really bad. But then Dad locks us up as punishment. I hate it here. Can I come  live with you?

Love Betsy
P.S I wouldn’t want Gus to come. Just so you know.

(Auntie Leisa is the one who took care of us while mum & dad were away.)

-Betsy

I had a dream… and it went something like this:

-Gus

Dad has grounded us – or put us in “lockdown” as he calls it – for misbehaving.

I don’t know what he’s talking about. We didn’t do anything bad.

…Except for rip up the carpet a bit.

…And get on the couch and scratch it.

…And get under the side table and scratch that.

…And worm our way behind the couch where we’re not allowed (and haven’t been for years).

…And chomp on the power cord to a lamp.

…And continue chomping on the power cord to a lamp, after being told off by mummy, while she is still standing there watching me.

But other than that, we’ve been perfect little angel bunnies!

It’s so unfair.

-Betsy

Mum and dad got a new clock with a bunny on it.

We disapprove of this. After all, it should have a picture of US on it, not some strange bunny we don’t know.

Also: a clock should only have a few markings on it: treat time, breakfast time, and dinner time. This clock doesn’t have any of those. Therefore, it sucks.

-Betsy

It seems like whenever I try to sleep, dad comes around and starts taking pictures.

So I like to get back at him by sleeping in a way where he’s not sure if I’m awake, asleep, or even if I’m alive!

We refer to these as “dead bunny flops,” because the first time we did one (it was Betsy who first did it) dad got scared and thought we were dead!

Of course, now dad is used to them so he takes pictures of us anyway. I guess we’ll just have to try something new, like sleeping with one eye open and creeping him out.

We’ll let you know how that works out.

-Gus

Mum and dad are back. But we can’t let them know that we missed them at all. Instead, we must act as disinterested in their return as possible.

Fortunately, we rabbits excel at this:

“Oh. You’re back. We didn’t notice.”

-Gus