The Life and Times of Bunnies

Dad’s had “his”  new chair around for a while, but the other day I got to thinking… what’s it really like up there?

So I decided to find out.

I think it’s safer to start here on the box. That way I can see what I’m jumping into.

OK, getting ready… everything smells OK.

I guess I can just…

…Jump onto the chair!

There, that wasn’t so bad.

Now to see what all the fuss is about.

Hmmm… yep, smells like dad. Probably tastes like him, too.

Interesting texture.

Oh HI dad. What are you doing over there? Oh me? I’m just STEALING YOUR CHAIR MWA HA HA HA HA!!!

What’s up here… WHOAH!

OK, middle is definitely the safest part.

I wonder if dad would mind me digging…

OK, I guess he doesn’t like that.

Well, I guess I’ll get down now… let’s see… what would be the easiest way… hmmm…

Of course, the easiest way down is the way I came up!

Wait a sec, I need to sniff this red thing before I get down.

Well, I’m happy to report that dad’s chair is:

• Very soft
• Not easy to walk on
• Fun to dig in (but dad will yell at you)
• A little bit scary (but I wasn’t scared, I’m braver than that)

I guess I shouldn’t call it dad’s chair anymore, though. Now that I’ve been up there it belongs to me – just like EVERYTHING ELSE IN THIS HOUSE.

Are you listening to me, dad? MINE.

Now feed me.

-Gus

Over the past week Gus and I have been very busy doing some “demolition” work on that “bunny condo” that dad gave us. It’s been tough work, let me tell you – but the results have been worth it.

Just look at that glorious destruction. It took us a while, but we totally took out the entire right-hand side wall, along with the main interior load-bearing wall.

Beautiful, isn’t it? A great job of demolition if I do say so myself.

Of course, dad didn’t appreciate it – he said we’ve had our new house for just 2 weeks and we’ve already destroyed it – well of course, dad, what did you expect?

Of course, dad did make one good point – in destroying the walls, I also kind of destroyed the walls. Leaving me kind of stuck inside.

Oops.

(Fortunately the wall on the other side was still open enough that I could get out.)

I’m very proud of my work, but dad just doesn’t understand. Well, whatever. Just bring me a new house to destroy and I might leave your couch alone!

-Betsy

This weekend, dad cleaned up our area and moved some things around – and apparently decided we needed a new bunny condo. So he came up with this multi-level thing:

I’m not sure how I feel about it. The bun-shui just isn’t quite right. I think maybe later I’ll chew a few new holes in it, and maybe push it into the middle of our area, at some angle that dad will no doubt think is totally awkward and inappropriate.

Yeah.

-Betsy

Dad says I’m a lazy bun – that all I do is lay around the house and sleep.

I don’t know what he’s talking about!

Ummm…

Well…

Errr…

That is to say…

I mean…

Well…

Look…

I can explain…

That’s not fair…

Those were extenuating circumstances!

Ok Dad, I think we get the point…

Aww, c’mon!

Geez…

Seriously?

OK, ok, ok…

Yeah, yeah…

Whatever.

OK, so maybe I do sleep a bit… but it’s only natural. After all, I lead a very busy life! I need to rest often!

Right?

-Gus

I’ve been so busy lately, chewing things, playing with Gus, trying to sneak into the bedroom… sometimes I just need to lay down and have a nap.

Too bad that whenever I try to relax, I hear that little “beep-beep” of dad and his stupid camera!

Harumph!

-Betsy

I guess it should come as no surprise to anyone that since it’s getting on towards summertime now, Betsy and I have been shedding a bit.

The downside to this (and the reason why Betsy and I try to hide our shedding for as long as we can) is that dad notices us looking a little “scruffy” and … picks us up and brushes us!

Oh the HORROR!

Oh the INDIGNITY! Oh, wait, it’s all over for me now. I guess I wasn’t shedding too bad, but then again dad DID brush me last week as well.

Betsy, on the other hand, did not get off so lucky.

Betsy is really good at hiding her shedding, so when it starts to show, you know it’s going to be pretty bad. But honestly even I was amazed at how much fur dad brushed off of her!

Dad’s cruel instruments of torture grooming can be seen clearly in these pictures.

Dad said you could almost make a whole other bunny with the fur he brushed off of Betsy. I’m not so sure though; we bunnies have LOTS of fur!!

Betsy hates brushing time as much as anyone, but then again, Betsy tends to hate everything. Dad sometimes calls her an “emo bunny” because of the dark marks around her eyes (and the way she disapproves of everything – she’s a disaproval MASTER).

But in this picture, I think Betsy just wants to go back inside. All that brushing is rough going for such pampered bunnies as us!!

In the end of course, I got a papaya tablet from dad (which I didn’t eat until he was out of sight, of course – can’t let him think I appreciate the treat after such treatment) and Betsy got a cracker from mum (mum never picks us up, she’s so good). So it wasn’t a total loss… I guess.

I wonder how other buns are doing with this weather – is it making you shed, too? And if so, how do you hide it?

-Gus

Dad says I don’t seem to have very good  table manners.

I don’t know what he’s talking about. Besides, table manners don’t apply when you’re not at a table, obviously.

-Gus

Despite rumors to the contrary, we have NOT actually done anything to our mum or dad as a result of that disgraceful photo shoot (the one with the costumes).

Just so we clear that up.

Anyway, speaking of indignity: sometimes Betsy gets a little… over-affectionate with me. Dad was able to capture one of these almost-incidents recently:

Somehow this just doesn’t seem right to me – after all, I am the boss around here.

Do any otherbuns have this sort of problem?

-Gus

Dad tried to “entertain” us the other day by putting out a paper bag. To make sure we went into it, he put some fresh timothy hay in the bag.

This was the result:

“And there’s nothing you can do about it!”

(You can see an alternate version here.)

-Gus

Today dad picked me up and carried me to mummy, who was smiling in a way I didn’t like.

Turns out, I had good reason to be suspicious of her motives – just look!

Turns out she’d bought some little costumes at the store.

I don’t like this.

I will make you suffer for this indignity.

Eventually dad brought Gus into the party. Misery loves company, after all.

Gus didn’t understand it any more than I did.

I don’t think the crown fit him very well, either.

Bunnies should not be dressed up!

This is just silly mummy, take it off!

No, wait, that’s not what I meant!!

I wonder if it’d be OK if I took a flying leap off this table…

I don’t need no stinkin’ crown to know I’m the boss around here!

Gus did not like the implications made by this costume.

This is just not right.

After that, mum took the clothes off of us and dad helped her put us back down on the ground. Fortunately, the whole ordeal didn’t take more than a few minutes… but it was still degrading in a way that bunnies should not be subjected to.

I’ll have to think of something particularly valuable to chew on tonight to make up for this injustice.

-Betsy