The Life and Times of Bunnies

Why, no dad, we weren’t up to anything. Trust me!

Why do you ask?

-Betsy

So the other day, mum wanted a cuddle with us. So she made dad pick us up and then she snuggled us. (One at a time, of course – we are too much bun for any one person to handle all at once!)

Gus is no good with the snuggling – if you pat his nose just right, he starts to go all dreamy and relaxed.

Gus, THAT WILL NOT DO.

When I get snuggled I try to bury my head in mummy’s neck. Using my claws also helps too; I always try to keep them nice & sharp so nobody even thinks of picking me up! I also make sure that I shed as much as I can, to really aggravate mummy’s allergies and asthma. That way, she’ll put me down quicker.

But this time, nothing worked – dad grabbed me (after a short chase around the house) and mum snuggled me for a good long time, all the while petting my nose and stroking my ears. While this may be fine for her, I DON’T LIKE IT.

So, in retaliation, the next day I got up on the couch and chewed a hole in one of the pillows.

But I cleverly did it while mum & dad were out, so they couldn’t punish me for it! I win!

That should teach them not to pick me up!

-Betsy

Dear Auntie Leisa:

I miss you.Mum doesn’t give me as many treats as you. That makes me sad. And mad. So I have been acting really bad. But then Dad locks us up as punishment. I hate it here. Can I come  live with you?

Love Betsy
P.S I wouldn’t want Gus to come. Just so you know.

(Auntie Leisa is the one who took care of us while mum & dad were away.)

-Betsy

I had a dream… and it went something like this:

-Gus

Dad has grounded us – or put us in “lockdown” as he calls it – for misbehaving.

I don’t know what he’s talking about. We didn’t do anything bad.

…Except for rip up the carpet a bit.

…And get on the couch and scratch it.

…And get under the side table and scratch that.

…And worm our way behind the couch where we’re not allowed (and haven’t been for years).

…And chomp on the power cord to a lamp.

…And continue chomping on the power cord to a lamp, after being told off by mummy, while she is still standing there watching me.

But other than that, we’ve been perfect little angel bunnies!

It’s so unfair.

-Betsy

Mum and dad got a new clock with a bunny on it.

We disapprove of this. After all, it should have a picture of US on it, not some strange bunny we don’t know.

Also: a clock should only have a few markings on it: treat time, breakfast time, and dinner time. This clock doesn’t have any of those. Therefore, it sucks.

-Betsy

It seems like whenever I try to sleep, dad comes around and starts taking pictures.

So I like to get back at him by sleeping in a way where he’s not sure if I’m awake, asleep, or even if I’m alive!

We refer to these as “dead bunny flops,” because the first time we did one (it was Betsy who first did it) dad got scared and thought we were dead!

Of course, now dad is used to them so he takes pictures of us anyway. I guess we’ll just have to try something new, like sleeping with one eye open and creeping him out.

We’ll let you know how that works out.

-Gus

Mum and dad are back. But we can’t let them know that we missed them at all. Instead, we must act as disinterested in their return as possible.

Fortunately, we rabbits excel at this:

“Oh. You’re back. We didn’t notice.”

-Gus

I miss my mummy.

Gus says she’ll be home soon. I’ll be glad. (But mum – you’re never putting silly costumes on me again. EVER. At least, not if you want your shoes to remain unharmed… understand?)

-Betsy

Once again, mum and dad made us play “dress up” for their Christmas cards this year.

And once again… we strongly disapprove.

-Gus