{"id":868,"date":"2007-05-01T13:56:30","date_gmt":"2007-05-01T18:56:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/?p=868"},"modified":"2012-01-28T16:22:16","modified_gmt":"2012-01-28T21:22:16","slug":"microsoft-comments-on-the-iphone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2007\/05\/01\/microsoft-comments-on-the-iphone\/","title":{"rendered":"Microsoft comments on the iPhone"},"content":{"rendered":"

Found in a comment on Slashdot<\/a>:<\/p>\n

<\/blockquote>\n

‘No chance. It’s a $500 subsidized item. They may make a lot of money. But if you actually take a look at the 1.3 billion phones that get sold, I’d prefer to have our software in 60% or 70% or 80% of them, than I would to have 2% or 3%, which is what Apple might get. In the case of music, Apple got out early. They were the first to really recognize that you couldn’t just think about the device and all the pieces separately. Bravo. Credit that to Steve (Jobs) and Apple. They did a nice job. But it’s not like we’re at the end of the line of innovation that’s going to come in the way people listen to music, watch videos, etc. I’ll bet our ads will be less edgy. But my 85-year-old uncle probably will never own an iPod, and I hope we’ll get him to own a Zune.’<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Translation:<\/p>\n

It’s obviously expensive, that’s bad. They will make more money than us… someway I don’t understand. We have a mobile operating system and are fairly successful in pushing it into mobile devices. I’ll leave out how much just our software raises the price of a mobile device… because it’s probably pretty significant $50-$100. We dropped the ball on music and we’re currently dropping the ball on a billion phone sales by making them more expensive without providing the customer with the strange benefits I don’t understand but Steve Jobs thinks is obvious. I’m sure Microsoft will come out ahead here. Oh, and I can’t wait until my uncle squirts Tom Dooley by The Kingston Trio all over me. We’re smart, we chose to target the old people who buy and return a single piece of fruit and are electronically hip and are retiring as opposed to the foolish spending youths of today–why do you think we colored it brown?!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A satirical translation of a comment on Microsoft’s response to the iPhone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"webmentions_disabled_pings":false,"webmentions_disabled":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"activitypub_content_warning":"","activitypub_content_visibility":"","activitypub_max_image_attachments":3,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"anyone","activitypub_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[95,46,62,66],"class_list":["post-868","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-technology","tag-apple","tag-humor","tag-microsoft","tag-slashdot","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pimUj-e0","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":527,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2005\/06\/06\/windows-nearly-ready-for-desktop-use\/","url_meta":{"origin":868,"position":0},"title":"Windows Nearly Ready For Desktop Use","author":"Keith Survell","date":"June 6, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Oh geez, I nearly laughed myself to death.","rel":"","context":"In "fun stuff"","block_context":{"text":"fun stuff","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/fun-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1011,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2007\/12\/19\/another-great-one-%e2%80%93-from-slashdot\/","url_meta":{"origin":868,"position":1},"title":"Another Great One \u2013 From Slashdot","author":"Keith Survell","date":"December 19, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm sorry, but these really do make me laugh when I run across them: I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly, alert.","rel":"","context":"In "fun stuff"","block_context":{"text":"fun stuff","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/fun-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":206,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2004\/08\/17\/huh\/","url_meta":{"origin":868,"position":2},"title":"Huh?","author":"Keith Survell","date":"August 17, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"A gleekzorp without a tornpee is like a quop without a fertsneet (sort of).","rel":"","context":"In "fun stuff"","block_context":{"text":"fun stuff","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/fun-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1042,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2008\/02\/07\/amusing-sig\/","url_meta":{"origin":868,"position":3},"title":"Amusing .Sig","author":"Keith Survell","date":"February 7, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"A great sig, found once again on Slashdot: Oh look, its my tax dollars at work coming to arrest me.","rel":"","context":"In "fun stuff"","block_context":{"text":"fun stuff","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/fun-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1009,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2007\/12\/19\/democracy-and-liberty\/","url_meta":{"origin":868,"position":4},"title":"Democracy and Liberty","author":"Keith Survell","date":"December 19, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"This little analogy, found in a signature on Slashdot, sums it up quite nicely: Democracy is two wolves and a sheep voting on what's for dinner. Liberty is a well-armed sheep contesting the vote.","rel":"","context":"In "fun stuff"","block_context":{"text":"fun stuff","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/fun-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1043,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2008\/02\/08\/the-four-boxes-used-to-defend-liberty\/","url_meta":{"origin":868,"position":5},"title":"The Four Boxes used to Defend Liberty","author":"Keith Survell","date":"February 8, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Still another great sig seen on Slashdot: There are 4 boxes to use in the defense of liberty: soap, ballot, jury, ammo. Use in that order. Starting now. I hope you've been using the first two recently - I know I have.","rel":"","context":"In "politics"","block_context":{"text":"politics","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/politics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/868","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=868"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/868\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=868"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=868"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=868"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}