I miss her most on days like this
\nWhen the cold wind comes whipping off the mountain,
\nBurning my ears and face.<\/p>\n
I miss her most when the morning stillness covers me
\nAnd still-frightening dreams echo in my ears
\nBut in those dreams I have her, hold her.
\nWhy should I wake, only not to have her?
\nI must fight to wake from these tortured dreams.<\/p>\n
I miss her most when there are many people
\nOr no people around me.
\nI long to be alone but not lonely.<\/p>\n
I hear much from these people. They tell me many things.
\nI hear of their loves, and how they make it or do not make it,
\nAnd I long to tell them of the love I have, the great love,
\nBut they would not understand.
\n“She’s not here now, is she?” they would say.
\nThen they would ask,
\n“Did you get it? Did you do it?”<\/p>\n
And I must say no, for these things are not important to us.
\nA true love is more than these things, these physical desires.
\nThough we had the desire, stronger than most could imagine.
\nWe longed to fulfill our desires every waking moment,
\nYet I see now it was our souls we truly longed to touch.<\/p>\n
Sometimes I think it would be best
\nIf I were to go to some high place and let myself fall
\nBe free for those moments
\nOr breathe the water
\nIn which I bathe.
\nThe dreamy sleep of the seas.<\/p>\n
Some days my body breaks, my mind breaks,
\nBut there is one piece that stays sane
\nIt builds back my mind
\nIt builds back my body
\nAnd I go on again, with the memory of her.<\/p>\n
I miss her most at times like this, when the darkness fills the room.
\nFalse dreams call to me like a lovers song
\nBeckoning me to that beautiful world of tortured dreams.
\nIt is at times like these that I think of her most strongly\u2026<\/p>\n
And I wonder what I will do,
\nNow that she is dead.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I miss her most on days like this: A Poem by Keith M. 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Survell.","rel":"","context":"In "poems"","block_context":{"text":"poems","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/personal\/poems\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":87,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2004\/01\/22\/dream-report\/","url_meta":{"origin":645,"position":4},"title":"Dream Report","author":"Keith Survell","date":"January 22, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Sometimes I have weird dreams. And sometimes, I have *really* weird dreams.","rel":"","context":"In "personal"","block_context":{"text":"personal","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/personal\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4747,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2015\/10\/07\/its-dark-in-here\/","url_meta":{"origin":645,"position":5},"title":"It’s dark in here","author":"Keith Survell","date":"October 7, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"It's dark in here... did you hear that? 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I can see it, can't you?","rel":"","context":"In "poems"","block_context":{"text":"poems","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/personal\/poems\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/645","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=645"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/645\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=645"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=645"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=645"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}