{"id":4549,"date":"2014-08-14T10:32:32","date_gmt":"2014-08-14T14:32:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/?p=4549"},"modified":"2014-08-14T10:32:32","modified_gmt":"2014-08-14T14:32:32","slug":"night-watch-programmer-humor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2014\/08\/14\/night-watch-programmer-humor\/","title":{"rendered":"The Night Watch (Programmer Humor)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ran across this article\/story recently (it’s a PDF link)<\/a> and had to share some of the more entertaining little excerpts from it – though you might need to be a programmer\/sysadmin in order to appreciate the humor in some of these…<\/p>\n

Systems people discover bugs by waking up and discovering that their first-born children are missing and “ETIMEDOUT” has been written in blood on the wall.<\/p>\n

\n

This is a sorrow that lingers, because a 2 byte read is the only thing that both Republicans and Democrats agree is wrong.<\/p>\n

\n

When it’s 3 A.M., and you\u2019ve been debugging for 12 hours, and you encounter a virtual static friend protected volatile templated function pointer, you want to go into hibernation and awake as a werewolf and then find the people who wrote the C++ standard and bring ruin to the things that they love.<\/p>\n

\n

One time I tried to create a list<map<int>>, and my syntax errors caused the dead to walk among the living. Such things are clearly unfortunate.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Honestly I can never get enough of good programmer humor like this.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ran across this article\/story recently (it’s a PDF link) and had to share some of the more entertaining little excerpts from it – though you might need to be a programmer\/sysadmin in order to appreciate the humor in some of these… Systems people discover bugs by waking up and discovering that their first-born children are… Continue reading The Night Watch (Programmer Humor)<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"webmentions_disabled_pings":false,"webmentions_disabled":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"activitypub_content_warning":"","activitypub_content_visibility":"","activitypub_max_image_attachments":3,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"anyone","activitypub_status":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[7,5],"tags":[46,351,107,388],"class_list":["post-4549","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fun-stuff","category-technology","tag-humor","tag-jokes","tag-programming","tag-technology","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pimUj-1bn","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":230,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2004\/09\/10\/master-foo-and-the-gui\/","url_meta":{"origin":4549,"position":0},"title":"Master Foo and the GUI","author":"Keith Survell","date":"September 10, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"From \"Rootless Root.\" Read and be enlightened.","rel":"","context":"In "fun stuff"","block_context":{"text":"fun stuff","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/fun-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1045,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2008\/02\/11\/programmer-humor\/","url_meta":{"origin":4549,"position":1},"title":"Programmer Humor","author":"Keith Survell","date":"February 11, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"From Painless Bug Tracking @ Joel on Software: If you don't specify what you expected to see, I may not understand why this is a bug. The splash screen has blood on it. So what? I cut my fingers when I was coding it. What did you expect? Ah, you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "fun stuff"","block_context":{"text":"fun stuff","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/fun-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":665,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2005\/10\/20\/liabilities-and-software-vulnerabilities\/","url_meta":{"origin":4549,"position":2},"title":"Liabilities and Software Vulnerabilities","author":"Keith Survell","date":"October 20, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Stuff like this really makes me worry. As a programmer, I see it as a death sentence. As a business owner, I see it as a strange (and in my opinion, unjustified) attempt to \"pierce the corporate veil.\"","rel":"","context":"In "tech"","block_context":{"text":"tech","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/technology\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":568,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2005\/07\/08\/joel-on-software\/","url_meta":{"origin":4549,"position":3},"title":"Joel on Software","author":"Keith Survell","date":"July 8, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"\"Just because you\u2019re a programmer doesn\u2019t mean you have to be the help desk for a dozen friends, relatives, and the people in the apartment next door. Does it?\"","rel":"","context":"In "personal"","block_context":{"text":"personal","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/personal\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1202,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2008\/07\/10\/the-greatest-bug-of-all\/","url_meta":{"origin":4549,"position":4},"title":"The Greatest Bug of All","author":"Keith Survell","date":"July 10, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Call Me Fishmeal.: Pimp My Code, Part 15: The Greatest Bug of All This is great story... if you're a programmer. If you're not, you won't get it, so sorry about that.","rel":"","context":"In "tech"","block_context":{"text":"tech","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/technology\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1017,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2008\/01\/04\/on-being-a-programmer-in-a-world-of-non-programmers\/","url_meta":{"origin":4549,"position":5},"title":"On Being a Programmer in a World of Non-Programmers","author":"Keith Survell","date":"January 4, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"This post over at The Daily WTF struck a chord with me. I can definitely feel the pain of trying to explain programming to non-programmer \u2013 or even just explaining what it is I do. Most times, I just get blank stares. To most people, \"I work with computers\" is\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Rants"","block_context":{"text":"Rants","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/rants\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4549","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4549"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4549\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4549"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4549"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4549"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}