{"id":422,"date":"2005-02-14T07:38:00","date_gmt":"2005-02-14T11:38:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/?p=422"},"modified":"2010-02-14T10:34:53","modified_gmt":"2010-02-14T14:34:53","slug":"valentines-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2005\/02\/14\/valentines-day\/","title":{"rendered":"Valentine’s Day"},"content":{"rendered":"

I post this poem every year, because I’m a geek. And because geeks are traditionally bitter & cranky on this day each year, for reasons that should be fairly obvious. Of course, I’m not really <\/span>bitter or cranky (though there WAS <\/span>no hot water this morning, so maybe I am…) but I’m going to post it just the same. So if you’re bitter or cranky today, read this and then go sulk somewhere. Enjoy!<\/p>\n

“Fuck Valentines Day”<\/span>
\nHearts and roses and kisses galore…
\nWhat the hell is all that shit for?
\nPeople get mushy and start acting queer
\nIt is definitely the most annoying day of the year
\nThis day needs to get the hell over with and pass
\nBefore I shove a dozen roses up Cupid’s ass
\nI’ll spend the day so drunk I can’t speak
\nAnd wear all black for the rest of the week
\nGuys act all sweet, but it soon will fade
\nFor all they are doing is trying to get laid
\nThe arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit
\nBecause I think love is a crock of shit
\nSo here\u2019s my story…what else can I say?
\nLove bites my ass…Fuck Valentines Day!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I post this poem every year, because I’m a geek. And because geeks are traditionally bitter & cranky on this day each year, for reasons that should be fairly obvious. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"webmentions_disabled_pings":false,"webmentions_disabled":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"activitypub_content_warning":"","activitypub_content_visibility":"","activitypub_max_image_attachments":3,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"anyone","activitypub_status":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[389,84,390,245],"class_list":["post-422","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","tag-fun-stuff","tag-holiday","tag-poems","tag-valentines-day","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pimUj-6O","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":105,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2004\/02\/14\/bitter-cranky-keithius\/","url_meta":{"origin":422,"position":0},"title":"Bitter, Cranky Keithius","author":"Keith Survell","date":"February 14, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Valentine's day always makes me bitter & cranky; probably because I often spend it alone. Or maybe it's just become tradition. Who knows.","rel":"","context":"In "Rants"","block_context":{"text":"Rants","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/rants\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2934,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2010\/02\/14\/unhappy-valentines-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":422,"position":1},"title":"Unhappy Valentine’s Day","author":"Keith Survell","date":"February 14, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Another year, another way to mock Valentine's day - this time, with a snarky picture!","rel":"","context":"In "fun stuff"","block_context":{"text":"fun stuff","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/fun-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-content\/uploads\/\/2010\/02\/fuck-valentines-day-candies-1024x819.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-content\/uploads\/\/2010\/02\/fuck-valentines-day-candies-1024x819.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-content\/uploads\/\/2010\/02\/fuck-valentines-day-candies-1024x819.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3827,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2012\/02\/14\/desktop-madness-vol-98\/","url_meta":{"origin":422,"position":2},"title":"Desktop Madness Vol. 98","author":"Keith Survell","date":"February 14, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Roses are #F0000, Violets are #0000F ... you know the rest. Happy Valentine's Day.","rel":"","context":"In "Wallpapers"","block_context":{"text":"Wallpapers","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/pictures\/wallpapers\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-content\/uploads\/\/2012\/02\/roses-are-red-violets-are-blue-all-my-base-are-belong-to-you-800x500.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-content\/uploads\/\/2012\/02\/roses-are-red-violets-are-blue-all-my-base-are-belong-to-you-800x500.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-content\/uploads\/\/2012\/02\/roses-are-red-violets-are-blue-all-my-base-are-belong-to-you-800x500.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":330,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2004\/12\/21\/okay-its-winter\/","url_meta":{"origin":422,"position":3},"title":"Okay, It’s Winter","author":"Keith Survell","date":"December 21, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Okay, it's Winter. WeatherWatcher currently says the temperature is 1*F out - that's damnably cold. And as a result of this cold, my pipes have frozen. Again. In the bathroom.","rel":"","context":"In "personal"","block_context":{"text":"personal","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/personal\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1050,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2008\/02\/14\/valentines-day-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":422,"position":4},"title":"Valentine’s Day","author":"Keith Survell","date":"February 14, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"A reluctant Valentine's Day post.","rel":"","context":"In "fun stuff"","block_context":{"text":"fun stuff","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/fun-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3817,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2012\/02\/14\/desktop-madness-vol-97\/","url_meta":{"origin":422,"position":5},"title":"Desktop Madness Vol. 97","author":"Keith Survell","date":"February 14, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"I always go a little crazy on Valentine's Day... no special reason.","rel":"","context":"In "Wallpapers"","block_context":{"text":"Wallpapers","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/pictures\/wallpapers\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-content\/uploads\/\/2012\/02\/faye-valentine-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/422","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=422"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/422\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=422"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=422"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=422"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}