{"id":358,"date":"2005-01-31T20:38:44","date_gmt":"2005-02-01T00:38:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/?p=358"},"modified":"2009-06-11T18:19:54","modified_gmt":"2009-06-11T22:19:54","slug":"wisconsin-jokes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2005\/01\/31\/wisconsin-jokes\/","title":{"rendered":"Wisconsin Jokes"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m guilty of quite a few of these.<\/p>\n

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 38 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Wisconsin.<\/p>\n

If you’re proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Park Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Wisconsin.<\/p>\n

If you have ever refused to buy something because it’s “too spendy,” you might live in Wisconsin.<\/p>\n

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Wisconsin.<\/p>\n

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Wisconsin.<\/p>\n

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don’t work there, you might live in Wisconsin.<\/p>\n

If your dad’s suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Wisconsin.<\/p>\n

If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Head Cheese, you might live in Wisconsin.<\/p>\n

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Wisconsin.<\/p>\n

If you have either a pet or a child named “Brett,” you might live in Wisconsin.<\/p>\n

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Wisconsin.<\/p>\n

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed wrong number, you might live in Wisconsin.<\/p>\n

If you know how to say Oconomowoc, Waukesha, Menomonie & Manitowoc, you might live in Wisconsin.<\/p>\n

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in Wisconsin.<\/p>\n

If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear, and you sing gently, “From the land of sky-blue waters,….you might live in Wisconsin.<\/p>\n

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE WISCONSINITE WHEN:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.<\/li>\n
  2. “Vacation” means going up north past Hwy 8 for the weekend.<\/li>\n
  3. You measure distance in hours.<\/li>\n
  4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.<\/li>\n
  5. You often switch from “heat” to “A\/C” in the same day and back again.<\/li>\n
  6. Your whole family wears Packer Green to church on Sunday.<\/li>\n
  7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.<\/li>\n
  8. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings and funerals).<\/li>\n
  9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.<\/li>\n
  10. You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.<\/li>\n
  11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife or girlfriend knows how to use them.<\/li>\n
  12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill’s Fleet Farm at any given time.<\/li>\n
  13. You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.<\/li>\n
  14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.<\/li>\n
  15. You refer to the Packers as “we.”<\/li>\n
  16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.<\/li>\n
  17. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.<\/li>\n
  18. You have no problem pronouncing Lac Du Flambeau.<\/li>\n
  19. You consider Minneapolis exotic.<\/li>\n
  20. You know how to polka.<\/li>\n
  21. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.<\/li>\n
  22. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.<\/li>\n
  23. Down South to you means Illinois.<\/li>\n
  24. A brat is something you eat.<\/li>\n
  25. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.<\/li>\n
  26. You go out to fish fry every Friday.<\/li>\n
  27. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.<\/li>\n
  28. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.<\/li>\n
  29. You find minus twenty degrees “a little chilly.”<\/li>\n
  30. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Wisconsin friends.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    I’m guilty of quite a few of these, but that doesn’t make them any less funny.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"webmentions_disabled_pings":false,"webmentions_disabled":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"activitypub_content_warning":"","activitypub_content_visibility":"","activitypub_max_image_attachments":3,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"anyone","activitypub_status":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[389],"class_list":["post-358","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","tag-fun-stuff","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pimUj-5M","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":6337,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2025\/04\/01\/dear-wisconsin-vote-but-dont-cheese-it\/","url_meta":{"origin":358,"position":0},"title":"Dear Wisconsin: Vote, but don’t cheese it","author":"Keith Survell","date":"April 1, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Please don't mess this one up, Wisconsin.","rel":"","context":"In "politics"","block_context":{"text":"politics","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/politics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/358","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=358"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/358\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=358"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=358"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=358"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}