{"id":105,"date":"2004-02-14T00:10:28","date_gmt":"2004-02-14T04:10:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/?p=105"},"modified":"2010-02-14T10:35:06","modified_gmt":"2010-02-14T14:35:06","slug":"bitter-cranky-keithius","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2004\/02\/14\/bitter-cranky-keithius\/","title":{"rendered":"Bitter, Cranky Keithius"},"content":{"rendered":"

Current mood: <\/strong>Bitter & Cranky<\/p>\n

Currently listening to: <\/strong>The humming of the humidifier<\/p>\n

Valentine’s day always makes me bitter & cranky; probably because I often spend it alone. Or maybe it’s just become tradition. Who knows.<\/p>\n

Anyway, in the spirit of V-Day, I usually post this somewhere – like on my dorm room door. But since nobody comes by my house anymore (and I don’t live in a dorm anymore either), it’s gotta go here. Please excuse the profanity.<\/p>\n

“Fuck Valentines Day”<\/em><\/p>\n

Hearts and roses and kisses galore…<\/p>\n

What the hell is all that shit for?<\/p>\n

People get mushy and start acting queer<\/p>\n

It is definitely the most annoying day of the year<\/p>\n

This day needs to get the hell over with and pass<\/p>\n

Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid’s ass<\/p>\n

I’ll spend the day so drunk I can’t speak<\/p>\n

And wear all black for the rest of the week<\/p>\n

Guys act all sweet, but it soon will fade<\/p>\n

For all they are doing is trying to get laid<\/p>\n

The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit<\/p>\n

Because I think love is a crock of shit<\/p>\n

So here\u2019s my story…what else can I say?<\/p>\n

Love bites my ass…Fuck Valentines Day!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Happy Valentine’s day.<\/p>\n

-Keithius<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Valentine’s day always makes me bitter & cranky; probably because I often spend it alone. Or maybe it’s just become tradition. Who knows.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"webmentions_disabled_pings":false,"webmentions_disabled":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"activitypub_content_warning":"","activitypub_content_visibility":"","activitypub_max_image_attachments":3,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"anyone","activitypub_status":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[10],"tags":[389,84,390,245],"class_list":["post-105","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rants","tag-fun-stuff","tag-holiday","tag-poems","tag-valentines-day","entry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pimUj-1H","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":422,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2005\/02\/14\/valentines-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":105,"position":0},"title":"Valentine’s Day","author":"Keith Survell","date":"February 14, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"I post this poem every year, because I'm a geek. And because geeks are traditionally bitter & cranky on this day each year, for reasons that should be fairly obvious.","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/general\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2934,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2010\/02\/14\/unhappy-valentines-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":105,"position":1},"title":"Unhappy Valentine’s Day","author":"Keith Survell","date":"February 14, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Another year, another way to mock Valentine's day - this time, with a snarky picture!","rel":"","context":"In "fun stuff"","block_context":{"text":"fun stuff","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/fun-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-content\/uploads\/\/2010\/02\/fuck-valentines-day-candies-1024x819.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-content\/uploads\/\/2010\/02\/fuck-valentines-day-candies-1024x819.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-content\/uploads\/\/2010\/02\/fuck-valentines-day-candies-1024x819.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3827,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2012\/02\/14\/desktop-madness-vol-98\/","url_meta":{"origin":105,"position":2},"title":"Desktop Madness Vol. 98","author":"Keith Survell","date":"February 14, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Roses are #F0000, Violets are #0000F ... you know the rest. Happy Valentine's Day.","rel":"","context":"In "Wallpapers"","block_context":{"text":"Wallpapers","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/pictures\/wallpapers\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-content\/uploads\/\/2012\/02\/roses-are-red-violets-are-blue-all-my-base-are-belong-to-you-800x500.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-content\/uploads\/\/2012\/02\/roses-are-red-violets-are-blue-all-my-base-are-belong-to-you-800x500.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-content\/uploads\/\/2012\/02\/roses-are-red-violets-are-blue-all-my-base-are-belong-to-you-800x500.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":889,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2007\/05\/28\/a-long-time-ago-in-a-dorm-room-far-far-away\/","url_meta":{"origin":105,"position":3},"title":"A Long Time Ago, in a Dorm Room Far, Far Away…","author":"Keith Survell","date":"May 28, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Lately I've \"re-discovered\" a lot of old photos I had squirreled away on my hard drive from long, long before I started organizing them in any sensible manner.","rel":"","context":"In "personal"","block_context":{"text":"personal","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/personal\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":330,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2004\/12\/21\/okay-its-winter\/","url_meta":{"origin":105,"position":4},"title":"Okay, It’s Winter","author":"Keith Survell","date":"December 21, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Okay, it's Winter. WeatherWatcher currently says the temperature is 1*F out - that's damnably cold. And as a result of this cold, my pipes have frozen. Again. In the bathroom.","rel":"","context":"In "personal"","block_context":{"text":"personal","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/personal\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1050,"url":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/2008\/02\/14\/valentines-day-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":105,"position":5},"title":"Valentine’s Day","author":"Keith Survell","date":"February 14, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"A reluctant Valentine's Day post.","rel":"","context":"In "fun stuff"","block_context":{"text":"fun stuff","link":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/category\/fun-stuff\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/105","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=105"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/105\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=105"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=105"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.starkeith.net\/coredump\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=105"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}