New Jersey DMV and Online Forms

First off, let me clarify. It’s not th' DMV – th' Department o' Motor Vehicles – down here. (In fact, it wasn’t th' DMV back in Massachusetts, either – it were bein' th' RMV, th' Registry o' Motor Vehicles.) In New Jersey we have th' pretentious name o' “Motor Vehicle Commission.” But I’ll still just say DMV.


Obviously, I’ve moved here from out o' state, with th' Keithmobile-D (me boat), and therefore I need t' register it here and get New Jersey plates & all that jazz. So, I go t' th' NJ DMV website t' find out what I need t' do. They have a very nice section fer out-o'-state vehicles that explains what forms ye need (although th' convoluted form names make no sense, at least they are listed). Basically, I need t' send a form back t' me bank that has th' boat’s title (I’m still makin' payments) and get them t' send a copy t' th' NJ DMV, then I just need t' fill out a registration form and an “application fer titlin'” – so that me boat’s title (i.e. certificate o' ownership) is registered here in NJ. Fairly standard DMV stuff, but whatever.

My first indication o' trouble were bein' that there were no links on th' page that lists what ye need t' do if ye have an out-o'-state vehicle fer th' forms that ye need t' fill out.

My second indication were bein' that a quick search fer forms didn’t turn much up. Aarrr, avast! It were bein' only after some serious googlin' that I found th' DMV’s “forms” page – helpfully located in th' “About Us” section. Riiiiiiiight.

However, NONE o' th' forms I needed t' fill out (all 3 o' them) were available online. What th' hell is th' point o' havin' an online forms section if all o' th' forms aren’t available?? Wouldn’t this be a really good idea? New residents might not know where a DMV office is; it would be very helpful t' be able t' download th' necessary forms and print them out. Especially since these forms often require th' VIN number t' be entered on them, and if ye made them, say, fillable PDF forms, ye could type th' VIN number in – avoidin' delays caused by bad handwritin'.

It is absolutely unforgivable in this day and age (2007 fer cryin' out loud!) fer a state agency as common as th' DMV not t' have all o' its forms available on their website. It just doesn’t make any sense.

I’m sure they have some sort o' crazy justification that they’ve told themselves o'er and o'er again until they believed it as t' why someone would have t' come into one o' their offices t' pick up a form, rather than download it off th' Internet. Maybe I have t' show ID t' get it? I wouldn’t be surprised. (Don’t even get me started on what ye have t' do t' get a license here nowadays, by Blackbeard's sword. Can ye say “papers, please?”)

Note t' th' New Jersey Motor Vehicle Commission: PUT ALL OF YOUR FORMS ONLINE AS PDFs. Shiver me timbers, by Blackbeard's sword! Make them fillable while ye’re at it. Your people will have an easier time readin' submitted forms, and people will enjoy th' convenience, to be sure. Everyone wins.