Core Dump

Apparently seasons are for sissies. Now we’re just going to alternate between really stinking hot (summer) and really stinking cold (winter). Those in-between seasons (spring and fall) can just hit the road, man.

This was my weather forecast this morning, courtesy ForecastFox. Now, these aren’t unusual temperatures for the 30th of October. What’s unusual is the fact that until just the other day, it was very, very much warmer. Like, seriously!

To put this in perspective, I ran my air conditioners quite a bit this month. If that doesn’t seem somehow terribly wrong to you, read it again. It’s OCTOBER. I should not be running the A/C in October. I shouldn’t have been running it in September, either, but I was. (Okay, maybe a little bit at the beginning of September.)

And then, just like that, it’s cold out. It literally went from “all the windows open and the fan running at night to keep it cool enough to sleep” weather to “close all the windows and there’s a frost warning.”

If anyone wants to argue with me about climate change, or try and tell me that this is somehow “normal,” go right ahead – the comments section is open. That sound you’ll hear after hitting “submit” will be you getting laughed off the Internet.

In case you think I’m being silly about all this, here’s some relevant posts from previous years:

• Holy Crap – It’s Autumn!
• Timeline of Weather
• Seriously, Mother Nature, WTF
• Holy Crap – It’s Spring… again?
• Weather
• Er… Hello? Mother Nature? Anyone Home?
• Holy Crap – Snow!?
• Shorts
• Why am I cold?
• Poke me – I’m done

First off, let me clarify. It’s not the DMV – the Department of Motor Vehicles – down here. (In fact, it wasn’t the DMV back in Massachusetts, either – it was the RMV, the Registry of Motor Vehicles.) In New Jersey we have the pretentious name of “Motor Vehicle Commission.” But I’ll still just say DMV.

ANYWAY.

Obviously, I’ve moved here from out of state, with the Keithmobile-D (my car), and therefore I need to register it here and get New Jersey plates & all that jazz. So, I go to the NJ DMV website to find out what I need to do. They have a very nice section for out-of-state vehicles that explains what forms you need (although the convoluted form names make no sense, at least they are listed). Basically, I need to send a form back to my bank that has the car’s title (I’m still making payments) and get them to send a copy to the NJ DMV, then I just need to fill out a registration form and an “application for titling” – so that my car’s title (i.e. certificate of ownership) is registered here in NJ. Fairly standard DMV stuff, but whatever.

My first indication of trouble was that there were no links on the page that lists what you need to do if you have an out-of-state vehicle for the forms that you need to fill out.

My second indication was that a quick search for forms didn’t turn much up. It was only after some serious googling that I found the DMV’s “forms” page – helpfully located in the “About Us” section. Riiiiiiiight.

However, NONE of the forms I needed to fill out (all 3 of them) were available online. What the hell is the point of having an online forms section if all of the forms aren’t available?? Wouldn’t this be a really good idea? New residents might not know where a DMV office is; it would be very helpful to be able to download the necessary forms and print them out. Especially since these forms often require the VIN number to be entered on them, and if you made them, say, fillable PDF forms, you could type the VIN number in – avoiding delays caused by bad handwriting.

It is absolutely unforgivable in this day and age (2007 for crying out loud!) for a state agency as common as the DMV not to have all of its forms available on their website. It just doesn’t make any sense.

I’m sure they have some sort of crazy justification that they’ve told themselves over and over again until they believed it as to why someone would have to come into one of their offices to pick up a form, rather than download it off the Internet. Maybe I have to show ID to get it? I wouldn’t be surprised. (Don’t even get me started on what you have to do to get a license here nowadays. Can you say “papers, please?”)

Note to the New Jersey Motor Vehicle Commission: PUT ALL OF YOUR FORMS ONLINE AS PDFs. Make them fillable while you’re at it. Your people will have an easier time reading submitted forms, and people will enjoy the convenience. Everyone wins.

Fear.

Fear has been used throughout our history to justify some of the most horrible actions ever taken by people – all in the name of justice, righteousness, and protection. It has happened before, and I assert that it is happening again. And it is up to us to stop it now.

There is a great line from the movie V for Vendetta:

“I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn’t be? War, terror, disease. There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense.”

This has never been more true than it is now. I especially like that bit, “rob you of your common sense.” Allow me to demonstrate the ridiculous levels to which our fear has elevated itself (with thanks to Bruce Schneier for the links):

Fear that Terrorists might Poison Gumball Machines

“Fear that terrorists could poison children has led three Dover aldermen to begin inspecting gumball machines.

“They’ve surveyed 103 machines in the Morris County town and expect to report their results on New Year’s Day.

“Aldermen Frank Poolas, Jack Delaney and Michael Picciallo have found 100 unlicensed machines filled with gumballs, jawbreakers and other candies. The three feel they’re ripe for terrorists to lace with poisoned products.”

And:

Fear that Remote-Controlled Toys Might be Used as Bombs

“Airport screeners are giving additional scrutiny to remote-controlled toys because terrorists could use them to trigger explosive devices, the Transportation Security Administration said Monday.”

Snow-globes are also suspect:

Fear of Snow Globes that Might be Used as Bombs

“Snow globes, regardless of size of amount of liquid inside, even with documentation, are prohibited in your carry-on.”

The list goes on and on. In case the absolute absurdity of that first one escaped you, let me re-state it: someone is checking gumball machines because they are afraid a terrorist might have poisined the gumballs.

What sort of person thinks up things like this? How afraid do you have to be to wake up one morning and think, “Oh my God! Our gumball machines are totally vulnerable! What if someone poisined them?” Just how fearful are you to seriously consider this as a credible threat, one worth spending a lot of time worrying about? You’re probably more likely to get hit by lightning, but I don’t see newspapers plastered with headlines like “Terrorists Claim Responsibility for Lightning Strike.” (Although now that I’ve said it, I’m sure I’ll see that headline soon.)

It’s sad, very, very sad, to see all this happening in my lifetime.

Think about this: we’ve become so fearful that we’re willing to accept any vague “threat” as if it were an imminent disaster about to strike. It’s the “Chicken Little” phenomenon – we were hit on the head once, and now whenever someone makes a claim like “the sky is falling,” we react as if it were totally true and possible.

All this, of course, leads me to ask a simple question – with a rather troubling answer:

Can you really say you are “free” when you live your whole life in fear?

You might argue that there are “reasons” to be afraid. You might even be right. But a healthy dose of skepticism goes a long way towards preventing abuses. I don’t like “slippery slope” arguments, but experience has shown that the “slippery slope” is often quite real.

Speaking of “slippery slopes,” allow me to quote Captain Picard:

“Oh, yes. That’s how it starts! But the road from legitimate suspicion to rampant paranoia is very much shorter than we think.”

Although a fictional character from a (science) fictional show, there is a good deal of truth in that statement. And while I’m at it, let me quote the Afterward section (written by Erich Fromm) of the paperback edition of George Orwell’s 1984:

“…fright and hatred of a possible aggressor will destroy the basic attitudes of a democratic, humanistic society.”

And since 1984 was written in 1948, you can see that these are not new ideas. We’ve seen it time and time again – fear used to usurp power.

I’m not trying to place blame here. I’m not a mindless “Bush-basher,” nor am I going to spout the other party’s lines that would place the blame all on Clinton (either Bill or Hillary). The situation is a bit more complicated than that, although few people seem to realize it. Politics is a complex game of give and take, after all. Although if you want to point fingers, well, allow me to quote V for Vendetta again:

“…if you’re looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror.”

This is a democracy, after all. Whatever else has been going on, you still have the power of your voice and your vote. Hell, with the power of the Internet, your voice has never been more powerful, or more capable of reaching a wide audience. There’s no escaping responsibility on this one.

Of course, frankly, at this point, I think you can put aside all the talk of terrorists and Islamic extremists and whatever else you want to use to justify these sorts of actions. At this point, they could all retire, and nothing would change. We’ve become our own worst enemy. Fear has become our enemy. “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself,” and that’s God-damned right. It’s time for us to grow up, and stop being afraid.

I know I’m not afraid. The question is, then, are you?

I’ve finally figured it out – the fundamental difference between Massachusetts drivers (of which I am, sadly, one) and New Jersey drivers (which I have been spending a lot of time around lately, for obvious reasons).

I’ve complained before that there’s something unnerving about going to a part of the country where people drive differently. People complain about it as well, without knowing it – it’s why people from other states are always proclaimed to be too slow, too stupid, or whatever. It doesn’t matter where you’re from; people from other states always suck.

However – in this case, I’m just dealing with the two states I have experience with – Massachusetts and New Jersey. Here’s what I’ve come up with:

New Jersey Drivers are suicidal; Massachusetts drivers are homicidal.

When you think about it, it really works well. I’ll leave it to you to think of all the implications.

The other day I found myself at the Solomon Pond Mall – ostensibly looking for the 2600 meeting that’s supposed to happen there in the food court on the first Friday of every month. (Hint: nobody showed up.) On the other hand, I did get to spend a lot of time observing people. Or, more accurately, kids. Let me explain:

I’ve been out on the road for a while now, almost a decade. In all that time, I’ve never seen any kids out playing in their yards. I’ve seen plenty of signs like “Drive Slow: Children at Play,” but I’ve never actually seen these alleged children out playing.

This confused me for quite a long time. When I was young, if I wasn’t in school and if it wasn’t raining out, I’d probably be outside playing. You could drive by my house and see me and my brother & sister out in the yard, riding bikes, playing in the dirt – y’know, typical children-type stuff. But I never saw anyone else doing this sort of stuff, no matter where I went. (Aside from some inner city kids who play around in my neighborhood, but somehow playing in the trash of a shitty neighborhood in Fitchburg isn’t quite what I had in mind.)

So I wondered, where were all the kids? Inside playing video games? Watching TV?

Well, those two things may be true for some, but according to my recent observations, the answer really is “at the mall.”

There were more children at the mall than adults – something which shocked me. And most of them were fairly young – probably between 14 and 17, I’d say, although it’s hard to tell these days. And most of them were there without their parents or any sort of adult. They were wandering around in little gaggles of giggles, all dolled up in the latest fashions, and (since I was mostly in the food court) eating the worst kind of food.

I saw a lot of people eating, and every single thing was either deep-fried or sugar-coated. I took the liberty of watching what people were drinking, as well, and the most popular drink seemed to be a super-sized soda. I’m talking BIG here, not just “large,” but really, really BIG. I’d guess these things held nearly a half a liter of soda – or more.

Now, I’m normally not one to judge (okay, I take that back – I am one to judge, or else why would I be writing this), but I must admit, I had something to eat at the food court too, and it wasn’t a salad. It was an Arby’s Beef & Cheddar (if you can call it “cheddar”) sandwich. It’s a personal vice of mine, but frankly I eat them so rarely that it’s almost a “treat” for me. The last time I had one was more than 6 months ago. I also had a soda. A small soda. Because I just had one sandwich, why would I need more than just a little soda to wash it down with? In retrospect, I think I was the only person in the entire food court with a non-large soda. And there were a LOT of people in the food court.

I think I’ve found the downfall of our society. What scared me even more is that this was on a Friday evening/afternoon – and it was an absolutely beautiful day out (aside from a passing thunderstorm). So why in heavens name would you be inside?

Maybe it’s just that being in a mall always makes me angry for some reason. I think I have an irrational fear/hatred of large crowds, or maybe just overzealous consumerism. Or maybe it was the pre-teen girls wearing shirts that said “I had a nightmare I was a brunette.” Might as well just wear a sign that says “I’m going to grow up to be white trash.”

But maybe I’m being too harsh. No, wait… I’m not. It’s not like this mall was in Boston or some other big city, where there are no outdoor places to go. If you’re not familiar with the area, the Solomon Pond Mall is on the border of Marlboro and Berlin, Massachusetts. Not exactly “metro Boston.” Hell, not exactly “metro” anything! I know these towns pretty well (I lived in neighboring Clinton for a while), and there’s plenty of open space, even with all the recent housing & commercial development.

What really gets me is that many of these kids I saw were clearly not old enough to drive on their own – which means that their parents must have driven them to the mall (and presumably dropped them off there, letting them fend for themselves). I swear, it was like a modern-day Lord of the Flies – only set in a shopping mall instead of a tropical island.

I just feel quite strongly that kids should not spend their free time inside a mall – they should be outside, doing the things that kids (used to) do! Go ride a bike! Play tag! Play Frisbee! Play baseball! Take a walk in the woods! Grab a canoe and go paddling down a river! Climb a tree! Build a fort! Explore your world!

I place the blame for all of this squarely on the shoulders of the parents. Not TV, not video games, not mass media – PARENTS. Yeah, you heard me. You guys are the ones dropping your kids off at the mall, after all. Instead of doing that, grab a $2 Frisbee or some nerf guns or some super-soakers and set your kids loose on a field or at a park. Take them to a state/national park with trails and give them paper and pencils and tell them to take a walk and make a map. Make sure they have a bicycle (and a helmet) and let them out of the yard. Give them building materials for that tree fort they always wanted to make. Just let them BE KIDS!

Now that I’ve got that off my chest, I think I’m going to grab my camera and go for a drive somewhere, maybe take a walk through the woods and look for waterfalls to take pictures of. The rest of my seething anger will have to wait…

Peace out, y’all.

UPDATE: See my follow-up post “More on the ‘Missing Children’.” Apparently I’m not alone in this respect…