Wisconsin Jokes

I’m guilty of quite a few of these.

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 38 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you’re proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Park Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have ever refused to buy something because it’s “too spendy,” you might live in Wisconsin.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Wisconsin.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don’t work there, you might live in Wisconsin.

If your dad’s suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Head Cheese, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have either a pet or a child named “Brett,” you might live in Wisconsin.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed wrong number, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you know how to say Oconomowoc, Waukesha, Menomonie & Manitowoc, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in Wisconsin.

If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear, and you sing gently, “From the land of sky-blue waters,….you might live in Wisconsin.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE WISCONSINITE WHEN:

  1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
  2. “Vacation” means going up north past Hwy 8 for the weekend.
  3. You measure distance in hours.
  4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
  5. You often switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again.
  6. Your whole family wears Packer Green to church on Sunday.
  7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
  8. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings and funerals).
  9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
  10. You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.
  11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife or girlfriend knows how to use them.
  12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill’s Fleet Farm at any given time.
  13. You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
  14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
  15. You refer to the Packers as “we.”
  16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
  17. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
  18. You have no problem pronouncing Lac Du Flambeau.
  19. You consider Minneapolis exotic.
  20. You know how to polka.
  21. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
  22. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
  23. Down South to you means Illinois.
  24. A brat is something you eat.
  25. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
  26. You go out to fish fry every Friday.
  27. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
  28. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
  29. You find minus twenty degrees “a little chilly.”
  30. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Wisconsin friends.

By Keith Survell

Geek, professional programmer, amateur photographer, crazy rabbit guy, only slightly obsessed with cute things.

36 comments

  1. I’m from Chippewa Falls, and I’ve seen most of these before, but they still make me laugh and I can agree to almost all of them.

  2. You don’t realize just how many of these apply to you until you read them- I can count on one hand the number of Sunday’s my family DIDN’T wear green and gold to church! Lol, these are great

  3. Hey…I now live in North Dakota, but LOVE to see good ol’ Sconsin humor! I’m originally from Ladysmith!

    1. I’m from Walworth but my family and i go to Winter WI every year to visit relatives and ladysmith is like last chance for everythign XD We alwasy stop for gas, refreshments and what nots in lady smith… sorry it made my day to read im not the only one who knows where ladysmith is

  4. This is too funny…born and raised in Wisconsin but haven’t lived there in over 5 years and I still measure distance in hours, wear green and gold on Sundays, etc…wow!

  5. I’m from around the dells area and I’ve heard some of these about pennsylvania.
    I don’t know why any of these apply to both. Whatever. Still totally funny!!!

  6. I live in Cambria(very tiny town in wisco)… All of these relate to my life except I’m pretty sure 4th of july was never moved inside due to frost

  7. I gotta kick out of this….let’s just say i was born and raised about an hour and a half north of hwy 8 lol Go Phelps!!!

  8. wow. Park Falls the coldest spot in the region. Then I must be a polar bear. I was born in Park Falls. Grew up in Milwaukee and Currently Live By Shawano!!! Man Do i LOVE WISCONSIN!!!

  9. man i was born and raised up in st germain but now i live in janesville and these jokes are halarious

  10. When is a boot not a boot?

    When someone from Wisconsin says about.

    What do you call a blowjob from a girl from Wisconsin?

    Cheesehead.

  11. How does someone from Wisconsin tell a knock knock joke?

    “Knock Knock. Who’s dare?”

  12. I so love love love my home state of Wisconsin and miss it horribly, dontcha know?????

  13. You gotta love Wisconsin “In so” ? I know I do. Suprised there are no refrences to Kingsbury…the true King of beers. On Wisconsin “Eh” ?

  14. I’m from Conover…dat’s bout ten minuets south of da UP on Hwy 45…anyways…dese jokes are really funny…

  15. No wonder I can withstand cold weeather.. I was born in Park Falls. The coldest spot in the nation.

  16. WOW! I live in Brookfield and dang this is hilarious. The part that makes it sooo funny is the fact that pretty much all of it is true!!

  17. HAHA lol i love these. Its all so true, except the 4th of july thing, we would ever move it inside because even if it was 40 dagree’s we would still think it as a hot day. XD and i cant believe some people honestly dont know what a bubbler is, and what budging is. i thought everyone knew that stuff!

    1. I live in LaCrosse and these jokes are so true! We are hardcore deer hunters & we love our venison! gotta love wisconsin deer hunting! <3

  18. I take this personally! Yeah some are true and funny. But I am offended!

    1. “If we shadows have offended,
      Think but this,—and all is mended,—
      That you have but slumber’d here
      While these visions did appear.
      And this weak and idle theme,
      No more yielding but a dream,
      Gentles, do not reprehend;
      If you pardon, we will mend.
      And, as I am an honest Puck,
      If we have unearned luck
      Now to ’scape the serpent’s tongue,
      We will make amends ere long;
      Else the Puck a liar call:
      So, good night unto you all.
      Give me your hands, if we be friends,
      And Robin shall restore amends.”

      Alternatively: if this offends you, just don’t read it. Nobody is forcing you to read this.

  19. Ha ha ha! i was born in milwaukee wisconsin and raised in Oostburg and lived there till i was 15. At the time i was sooo happy to leave. but now i am 18 and i miss the Crap outta My Home State!!
    I mean NOBODY knows what a Bubbler is, they look at me like i am crazy. lol
    I live in Nevada Know, and im not even kidding they close school down for 2 INCHES of a snow!! and i actually saw a snow plow out last night that was plowing the road, with just a flurry and the snow wasnt even sticking!!
    I deffanatly miss my home state!! WE are Bad ass’s!
    GO PACK GO!

  20. I was born and raised in a small town called Amery Wisconsin. I moved away two months ago, but I miss my hometown so much!!! I live in Glenndale Arizona now and we NEVER get snow down here! I miss the snow soooo much too! I can’t wait to go back to visit! I love the Packers and my Uncle keeps making fun of me because he likes the Dolphins but I tell him off and let him know just how much I love the Packers, and how much better they’re doing compared to the Dolphins. I really miss Wisconsin, things are so much different down here. None of the people I know have ever been on a real farm, and there aren’t any cows, deer, or horses for miles. I would love to go back home, and plan on going back for my birthday. GO PACKERS!!! I LOVE YOU AMERY WISCONSIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comments are closed.